Our lives are inundated with practicality and productivity. We think that if there’s no purpose to something, there’s no point in doing it. In reality the best things in life have no purpose.

We sacrifice our time and our sanity doing what we don’t want to do, so at some future point we will create the freedom to do what we love.

We seek happiness in things. We seek happiness in the acceptance of others, in material possessions, in social status. We even search for happiness in some future-promised afterlife. We sabotage ourselves and our entire lives because we fail to understand a very simple but easily overlooked fact.

The Search for Happiness is The Cause of Misery

You can’t find something that’s already there. Happiness exists now. It’s not something you have to find. That’s like trying to find your breath.

It’s the grasping of the mind that causes unhappiness. If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind doesn’t allow you be happy. And the reason your mind doesn’t let you be happy, is because you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of productivity, judgment and purpose. That’s not to say productivity is bad, or that doing things that have a purpose is wrong. It’s basing the reason for your existence on them that causes so much anguish.

When we place our happiness solely in “getting” something, completing a certain number of tasks on our to-do list, or achieving a goal, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re like a rabbit with a carrot stick attached to our heads. We keep chasing the carrot, but we never get there. We never stop to think that it might be the chasing that’s causing the problem. We’re too distracted trying to find a better way to beat the game. As soon as we reach one level of success, we’re hurrying to upgrade our search and move on to the next level of the chase. We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.

We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the best way to to solve a problem is to just stop caring.

By not caring, we immediately release ourselves of the prison of the mind. But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset; it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.

The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on temporary things. We’re deriving our joy from an achievement, or an attainment. This isn’t true happiness; it’s an addiction. We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new TV, or new iPod, and then what happens? It disappears. It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.

Our advertising and consumer culture doesn’t help this much. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we need this, or we need that. Incessantly, we hear: “Buy this and it will solve your problem!” If only we could solve that problem we may finally be happy. Wrong. It’s not the problems that are the problem. I mean, buying a more efficient vacuum or sowing on that button you’ve been meaning to for seven years is great. You may feel a sense of achievement for a few moments or days. But you’re still looking for happiness in a thing.

It’s the same with productivity. If only we could finish all of the things on our to-do list, could we be content. If only we could accomplish all of our goals, could we finally be gratified. This thinking is based on the illusion that you’ll reach a certain point where everything is done. You finally made it! There’s nothing left in your inbox, all your projects are complete and your lifelong goals are achieved! Now you can rest easy.

But this point never seems to come, does it? That’s because there will always be things to do. There will always be challenges, because everything in life is constantly changing. If you reached a point in your life where you had no more problems, no more struggles, no more worries, life would stop. The game would end and there would be no point left in playing.

So… what can we do about this?

We Need to Stop Caring

That doesn’t mean we stop trying to achieve our goals or striving for personal growth. It just means that we no longer base our happiness on fleeting, semi-permanent things.

There are obviously some situations where not caring may have serious negative consequences (paying your rent). Excessive caring, however, is likely to make you miserable.

The reason caring too much can be detrimental to your health, is you’re so focused on the future. Your identity is too attached to outcomes. If something does, or doesn’t go your way, it will likely have an enduring effect on your mood for the rest of the day.

Instead, we should base our happiness on permanent things. Things that don’t change. Desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness in living. In life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to “find” happiness. We can be happiness.

So stop searching. You can’t find something that’s already there.

As always thanks for reading and until next time.

P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.

I’m tired of seeing people ride the struggle bus.

It gets really frustrating when you see people with so much talent, value, and passion continually struggle to create lasting momentum and generate enough money to become self-reliant.

Think about it, if you master just this one habit, you can achieve anything. I mean, anything. If you can develop the habit of showing up, even when things are the hardest, you win.

I’m going to share with you a roadmap for mastering this one habit in this article. Here’s the deal though, after this, there are no excuses. If you’re not doing the work, you don’t get to complain. Got it?

So, what is this master habit, exactly?

Daily growth, no matter what

That’s it. Focus on the direction of the most growth, every single day, no matter what. No matter how you feel, no matter how much other things you have going on, no matter how much doubt, uncertainty or chaos is in your life.

If you do this, you win. Period.

It seems like a simple, straightforward habit, but there are some pitfalls.

Here are where most people get tripped up:

• They’re not honest with themselves about what real growth activities are.
• They don’t even know what real growth activities are, so they can’t properly select them.
• They are unable or unwilling to show up, even when it’s hard.

The last one is really The Big One. The challenge of doing purposeful work is that it requires you to grow, and act courageously. It requires you to show up even when circumstances are undesirable.

Life will always be fucked up. There will always be something easier to do than actions that make you want to throw up.

You will doubt yourself, you will face uncertainty, you will face distraction and overwhelm.

When you start focusing on activities that really push your edges, the kinds of activities capable of creating real, significant results, that’s when you meet you real demons. These aren’t the everyday garden variety fears and doubts, these are the monsters that make you question whether your existence is even valid.

If you want to overcome them, you must learn to show up, and sit through their onslaught. They will sling the worst psychic shit at you, ask you to question why you’re even doing this in the first place.

If your path is related to a gift that comes from your soul, be prepared for them to use this against you. They know this is where you are most vulnerable, especially when you’re trying to get that initial confidence in your offering.

Be ready for them. Be ready to stand your ground and let them know you will not be backing down. You will continue to show up and do the work no matter what.

But most of you, you need to

Know your weakness

Your inner demons will seem relentless and all-consuming at times. They would like you to believe that there is no way to escape the shadow they cast.

But if you know their weakness, they will not be able to influence you as strongly. They may not go away, but they will get bored and tire in their quest to deter you.

Here’s what you must do: Starve the monster of its favorite food: time.

The more time you feed it — analyzing it, trying to fight it, agonizing in its presence — the stronger it grows. The beasts of doubt love to feast on time. Feed it, and your doubts will grow so large it feels as if you’ve entered a black hole.

Action in the face of their assault is their greatest weakness. The more detached you can stay, the more you can know that yes, your feelings are real, but you and your purpose are larger than them, the stronger you will become.

Which brings me to the next point

Stop honoring your feelings

One of the monster’s favorite traps to set is the “you must resolve these feelings, before taking action” trap.

It tells you that the way you feel is important, so naturally, you should honor it. If you don’t feel good, or if you feel doubtful, you need to honor that, resolve it and come back to take action another day.

When you do this, the beast wins.

Feelings are real. Yes, you should be curious about them. And sometimes it is helpful to question their origins and get to the bottom of what’s causing them. You can learn a lot this way.

But more often than not, feelings follow actions.

Sometimes you don’t feel like going for a run or doing yoga, but you feel great after you do it, right? The same is true with taking action on your purpose.

You don’t need to feel good to take action. Often you just need a little bit of momentum, a small dose of action, then the good feelings start coming. Nothing feels better than knowing that you showed up, even when it was hard.

And nothing, I mean nothing, builds greater character.

And anyway

Your feelings are often bullshit

If you feel doubtful, but the reason you feel that way is because someone told you that you had to follow a safe, predictable, secure path devoid of passion, should you really honor that feeling?

Personally, I think it makes more sense to say “fuck this feeling” and honor the way you really want to feel. You have the ability to choose how you want to feel, and go in the direction of that. It’s called emotional fitness, something distinctly different than emotional intelligence.

Fitness is the ability to thrive in your environment. If your environment is full of doubt and uncertainty, you can be really good at understanding those feelings, but not necessarily skillful at overcoming them.

The more you practice showing up and starting as quickly as possible, the more emotionally resilient you become.

Remember, feelings aren’t always an indicator of the truth.

Show up, even when you don’t feel like it, and you will become unstoppable.

But, what do I actually do?

Good question, and this is where it becomes very useful to have feedback from other people. The problem is, you might bullshit yourself about what is really going to move you forward with making a living from your purpose.

You might say that you need more education, when what you really need is to ask someone to be your client, because you’re afraid of selling. You could easily keep “showing up” and wondering why you’re not getting the results you want, when from the outside, it’s very simple: you’re not focusing on growth activities.

So, what is a growth activity?

• It’s the next most powerful action to move you forward, that you can identify.

Often growth activities have several things in common:

• They’re slightly terrifying
• They require you to get out of your comfort zone
• They stretch you beyond your current capabilities

Let’s take a look at a few common challenges and what growth activities they match up with:

If you’re stalling on launching: The next most powerful growth action would be getting your god damn website up, and to stop messing around with tweaking your theme.

If you need more leads and traffic: It might be pitching yourself to the 20 biggest podcasts in your field to be a guest on their show.

If you need more sales and clients: It might mean talking to your people to get clear on their biggest pain, or booking as many free coaching sessions as possible.

Ultimately though, if you’re trying to get your foothold, you just need to be trying lots of really bold shit.

What’s the minimum dose for this habit?

I believe that you need to do this for at least one hour a day, with zero distractions if you want to get any kind of traction.

More, of course is better, but quality is the name of the game here. If you have a full-time job, and a family, you can still carve out one hour a day, even if you need to just give up an hour of sleep. I’m a big advocate for self-care, but sometimes you need to make temporary, short-term sacrifices for the long term benefit of your life.

When I was working to build my first business, I had a full-time job and went to school full time. And somehow, I still found time to work on it.

Here’s the thing, if you’re not willing to devote at least one hour per day to growth activities so you can make a living from your purpose, you honestly just don’t want this that much.

That’s no problem, but please, don’t keep complaining about how your work sucks. It’s up to you to change it.

And At Last

I believe that being “ready” is the biggest fucking myth there is.

I don’t even know what “ready” is. It’s a land where unicorns and dragons live. It doesn’t exist.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You are where you are, most likely at the beginning, which means you need to spend a lot of time experimenting, exploring and trying things.

Don’t think that you need to be a master or have ultimate clarity about what you’re doing when you’re just starting. It will only paralyze you. However, you should be trying lots of shit at this stage. Action is the only route to clarity.

Make a habit of trying things. Put yourself out there and share your message. Do things that scare you. And please, get your fucking website up.

P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.

Color! Journal! Take a personality test, Left Or Right Brained?!?!

Each week, it seems like there’s a new bullshit trend aimed at making you slimmer, happier, or more productive. Most of them claim to be backed by psychological or physiological research, but many of them are not or they got proven to be false (which often gets ignored by the masses)

So here goes I created this list to help you sort out which tricks might be helpful and which ones are better forgotten. Take a look.

Tidying up to be healthier: Try it — research backs it up.

Some studies suggest that physical orderliness — a clean, neatly organized office, for example — is linked with some positive outcomes, like eating healthier.

A 2013 study, found that when they gave a set of volunteers in two types of rooms a choice between a chocolate bar and an apple for a snack, the people in a cluttered room were more likely to choose the chocolate bar, while those in the neat room were more likely to choose the apple. When the same participants were given the option to donate money to a charitable cause, those in the orderly room also tended to give more money than those in the disorderly room. So give it a shot.

Taking multivitamins to avoid getting sick: Skip them; most of them don’t work.

Decades of research has failed to find any substantial evidence that the vast majority of vitamins and supplements do any significant good. Some of them might even be harming us. Several supplements have been linked with an increase in certain cancers, for example, while others have been associated with a rise in the risk of kidney stones. Still others have been tied to an overall higher risk of death from any cause.

That said, certain vitamins — like Vitamin D and folate — are tough to get from food, so you might want to add those to your daily regimen.

Using astrology to boost your success: Skip it — it’s not scientific in the slightest.

One easy way to determine that astrology is unscientific is this: It’s so-called predictions can’t be tested, which is one of the standard components of the scientific method. Instead, horoscopes are carefully worded to be highly general, such as “You will face great difficulties ahead.” Well duh. Any result, from getting fired from your job to getting a raise, could be seen as fitting those expectations.

Still, horoscopes remain popular, something psychologists think is at least partially a result of the fact that we’re biased to see “personalized” results as accurate. This is called the Forer Effect after psychologist Bertram Forer. In 1948, Forer gave each of his students a personality test and then told them that each “result” was individually unique. He asked them to rank the tests accuracy and on average, they said it was 85% accurate. Later, he revealed to the students that he’d lied and given them all the exact same result.

Low-fat diets to lose weight: Skip them — they don’t work.

Low-fat diets don’t work. Our bodies need fat, protein, and fiber to function properly.

An 8-year trial involving almost 50,000 women, roughly half of whom went on a low-fat diet, found that those on the low-fat plan didn’t lower their risk of breast cancer, colorectal cancer, or heart disease. Plus, they didn’t lose much weight, if any.

Meditating to calm the mind: Try it — research suggests it can help.

Meditation facilitates more communication between two brain regions involved in self-control and focus, and second, it lowers levels of a substance called IL-6 that’s been linked with stress and inflammation. IL-6 can also sometimes be used as an early indicator of later health problems.

Using personality tests to pick your career — skip them; science suggests they’re not worth it.

One similarity the Meyers-Briggs personality test shares with astrology is that it relies on binary choices. According to the test, for example, you’re either “introverted” or “extroverted.” In reality, very few people would qualify as simply one or the other.

This point is hammered home by the fact that statistical studies of the Myers-Briggs show that its data follows a normal distribution — where the data falls around a central value with no bias to the left or the right, forming a balanced hill shaped curve — instead of a bimodal one, where the data are lumped around two peaks.

Thinking positive to turn your dreams into reality: Skip it — studies suggest it may do the opposite.

“Positive thinking” — a school of thought in the psychology world that suggests that viewing the world more optimistically can help you feel more satisfied and less stressed — has some limitations. While thinking optimistically sounds great on paper, it falls short in reality. People who daydream about a better world end up merely fantasizing about a reality rather than taking concrete actions to make it happen.

So, I hope that helps and you can ignore some of the BS out there and focus on what works and as always, thanks for reading and until next time.

P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.

Here are my top 7 books that will help you get paid for doing work that you love.

Lifestyle Entrepreneur: Live Your Dreams, Ignite Your Passions and Run Your Business From Anywhere in The World

Maybe you’re pondering the idea of what it would look like to branch out on your own but you need a plan that will enable you to do it in a way that’s not only sustainable, but also do-able.

Then this is the book for you.

After reading this book you’ll have a clear and solid plan on how to do that, in a way that would be achievable and allow you to create wealth whilst you’re doing it.

Written in an easy to understand, conversational manner, Jesse (who understands the challenges and rewards of starting out in online business) clearly lays out the theory, alternative models, launch strategies and outsourcing tips to make it all work.

The chapter called “Discovering Your Identity” helps you connect the dots between what types of things drive you emotionally and mentally as a person and how you can use those interests and passions to create a business that aligns with your unique makeup.

Make no mistake – you’ll still need to do the work but Jesse provides the toolkit, practical exercises, and context for you to make it happen.

Yes Yes Hell No: The Little Book for Making Big Decisions

When you’re working for somebody else a lot of the big strategic decision making is made for you, and as an employee you simply need to do what’s asked of you and you’ll get paid.

When you shift to working for yourself then the only person you’re accountable to, and the only person you can point the finger at when things don’t go your way, is YOU.

So you need to learn how to make timely decisions fast.

Successful people make decisions quick and then they commit to them. Furthermore, they can help those around them do the same.

“Yes Yes Hell No: The Little Book for Making Big Decisions” is easy to read and insightful. You’ll learn how to recognize and listen to your intuition and your fears, have the courage to make the decisions that feel authentic to you.

Imagine being able to help your clients get unstuck and work through any internal resistance they have to creating positive change… how powerful would that be for them and for you?

This book serves as a great tool for anyone who needs to guide, coach or counsel others – which, in our opinion, is a required skill for everyone in business and in life!

The author shares some of his own struggles throughout which makes it more relatable and inspiring.

Brand Identity Breakthrough: How to Craft Your Company’s Unique Story to Make Your Products Irresistible

A brand is no longer just a logo, and in order to be successful making a living doing what you love you’ll need to build a great brand.

Diehl provides a simple route for learning how to build a recognisable brand – an achievement in itself. Diehl has a unique perspective on business and life, and they come from his own adventures and involvement in many international businesses and relationships.

From looking at the value you bring to the table to identifying your target audience, the pages of this book are filled with methods to increase your brand visibility and establish credibility.

Using a variety of well established case studies, you can see how you can take an idea and potentially build it into a brand that is recognizable and successful.

This is not your typical boring, dry business book. If you’re looking for tips to getting rich, you won’t find them in here. However you will learn how to uncover your strengths and weaknesses and put yourself in the best possible light, both as an individual and as a business.

Regardless of whether or not you’ve ever dreamt of becoming an entrepreneur with a global brand, this is a fascinating read and we recommend it.

Powerful Words: Discover Your Secret Language for Personal Success and Maximizing Impact Through Emotional Connections

It has been said that “the pen is mightier than the sword” and we.

Politicians, psychologists, media personalities, linguists, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioners and anyone who understands how influence works will inform you that the language we use frames the reality that we create.

We are all aware that our thoughts affect many parts of our mental and physical lives.

So if you want to live a life by design then you’ll need to have a better understanding of how to transform your life through the language that you use.

Dr. Gaither really breaks down this concept to the level of individual words we use and how those words can positively or negatively affect one’s life in ways bigger than you ever realize, even on an unconscious level.

This is an enjoyable, easy read that is filled with personal anecdotes and not only clinical jargon.

Answer the key questions at the end of each chapter honestly and they’ll reveal to you the words that are powerful in your own life, past and present, and how to harness the power of words to transform your reality and future.

Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur: What You Really Need to Know to Start Your First Business

Whether you’re a complete newbie or have been in business for a while and are looking for ways to create new levels of success then this is a worthwhile read.

If we had read Brian Lofrumento’s book when we had first started out in the business world things would have been a lot easier that’s for sure.

This is such a great book for every aspiring entrepreneur because it takes a massive goal i.e. moving from “wantpreneur to entrepreneur” and breaks it down into small actionable and attainable steps.

Furthermore, the book is a nice fusion of personal experience combined with inspiration, quotes, and examples from many well known people in the business world.

Chapter 6 discusses ‘the biggest lie in business: competition’ and shifts the focus to collaboration as the key to success (something which we’ve indeed found to be true for our own businesses).

You’ll learn about the dynamics of being in business and some of the challenges you’ll encounter (such as the “haters”) so you won’t be surprised when they appear.

The multi-tiered product mix section of the book is powerful for understanding how to structure your business using product lines, and capture clients through streamlined funnels.

Brian delivers a keen sense of humor combined with impactful wisdom about entrepreneurship. This is a great addition to any entrepreneur library. Just make sure you implement the strategies inside!

Online Sales Formula: a six step model to grow your impact and income online

There’s no shortage of people out there selling the next best online sales formula, and a lot of them are making money from time-limited strategies that might have worked for them but are no longer applicable as technology evolves.

This is where Brian J. Dixon stands heads and shoulders above the rest.

A quick look at his client list will reveal that he’s working with some respected businesses and, unlike other books in the online marketing niche, The Online Sales Formula focuses on solid principles that have stood the test of the time. This book is a resource that you can refer back to time and time again, and it’ll still be relevant.

Brian teaches you timely principles and provides key information to spread your message to more people and make more money without feeling like a sleazy salesperson.

It covers everything from social media, improving your website, sending out emails, and creating compelling videos.

Furthermore, Brian presents the information in a non-techie and non-salesy way, thus making it easier to understand and action.

Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections Kindle Edition

If you’re going to make a living from your passion then you’re definitely going to need to focus on building meaningful relationships, and this book will reveal how to do it effectively.

As someone who has attended numerous networking events over the years with little results, this book is a breath of fresh air.

Derek Coburn is right – networking has changed, and that’s due to various reasons (such as the rise of social networking). The main issue that I’ve experienced is that often people go networking looking for what’s in it for themselves. They’re approaching it with a self-serving attitude, and that’s a surefire recipe for failure.

I’ve experienced far too many networking events that were full of superficial conversations that usually ended in nothing more substantial than, “Hey, let’s do coffee.” What a waste of time.

Coburn presents a different way of networking and his idea of setting up your own private network and giving back to others definitely has merit. Give it a go, and shift your focus to client-first networking.

This book is a quick read that is easily digestible and contains a fair amount of examples and relatable situations that resonate with daily professional interactions.

TIME TO READ!

You have to do the work. If you don’t, no one else will do it for you. If you want to live a life by design then you’ll need to grab these resources, work through the exercises, shift your mindset, learn what you don’t already know and execute!

If you want to be your own master, you’ll have to first master your mind and the quickest way to do that is to learn from those who have achieved what you want to achieve.

As always thanks for reading and until next time!

Depression is epidemic in our society, and the mainstream solution is a trip to the psychiatrist and an indefinite prescription for pharmaceuticals.

Dependent on psychotropic drugs to get by is no way to live, and in the search for happiness, both individuals, doctors and scientists alike are beginning to crack the code of depression, and to question if the pharmacutical solution even works.

George Slavich, a clinical psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles, has for decades been working to learn more about how our bodies and our minds work, or don’t work, together to regulate the emotional system and mood. His findings have led him to the conclusion that depression is not a condition that is isolated in the mind, and that the body may play a primary role in causing or preventing depression.

“I don’t even talk about it as a psychiatric condition any more. It does involve psychology, but it also involves equal parts of biology and physical health.” –George Slavich

Is Depression All About The Mind?

A simple observation about life has formed the foundation of his conclusions, and that is, ‘everyone feels miserable when they are ill.‘ Labeled ‘sickness behavior,’ the common symptoms of feeling tired, irritable, bored, fed up, and not wanting to move, these symptoms looked a lot like depression to Slavich, who wondered if there might be a common cause for these symptoms for both people who are ill, and for people who are suffering from depression.

“The answer to that seems to be yes, and the best candidate so far is inflammation – a part of the immune system that acts as a burglar alarm to close wounds and call other parts of the immune system into action. A family of proteins called cytokines sets off inflammation in the body, and switches the brain into sickness mode.”

If this is true, and there is mounting evidence to support his theory, then, treating depression with foods that fight inflammation may very well be far more effective in treating anxiety and depression than expensive addictions to dangerous pharmaceuticals, many of which have been linked to terrible side-effects such as suicide and even psychotic rages that spur violent episodes such as school and public mass shootings.

“Both cytokines and inflammation have been shown to rocket during depressive episodes, and – in people with bipolar – to drop off in periods of remission. Healthy people can also be temporarily put into a depressed, anxious state when given a vaccine that causes a spike in inflammation. Brain imaging studies of people injected with a typhoid vaccine found that this might be down to changes in the parts of the brain that process reward and punishment.

If cytokines and inflammation are seen to rise dramatically during depressive episodes, then it may very well be that this is a crucial piece in understanding these emotional conditions and why the mind simply cannot seize control over thought processes and force itself to feel happy. The next question then becomes, ‘what is causing such serious inflammation in the first place?’

Interestingly, researcher Turhan Canli of Stony Brook University in New York believes that the source of inflammation is related to infections, and he thinks we should consider re-labeling depression as an infectious, although not contagious, disease, instead of a mental disorder.

He may be onto something, but other researchers have pointed out that infection is not the only way for inflammation to set in, and that foods and foods ant toxic environmental agents may play a role.

“A diet rich in trans fats and sugar has been shown to promote inflammation, while a healthy one full of fruit, veg and oily fish helps keep it at bay. Obesity is another risk factor, probably because body fat, particularly around the belly, stores large quantities of cytokines.”

To support this theory, several clinical trials have so far found that antidepressants when supplemented with anti-inflammatory medicines both improve symptoms and increases the likelihood that a patient will respond to treatment. Two supplements that show tremendous promise for naturally fighting inflammation are curcurmin, an extract of the potent rhizome turmeric, and omega3 fatty acids, both of which are commonly available over-the-counter.

If this really is the key to unlocking depression, then the best solution, both to prevent it and to fight it if it becomes a health problem, might very well be food instead of antidepressants. This gives individuals much more control over their health, but will the corrupt pharmaceutical industry allow food to be presented as an alternative to their medications?

 P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.