After the end: do you want to win back the ex-partner?
A separation hurts – the more the longer a relationship has lasted. Before you start to ponder how you can get back together with your ex-partner, something else is much more important. What do you want from life yourself?
After a separation, you finally have time to reflect more on your own individuality. Your own self is most important now. While dealing with yourself, you should be able to answer the following questions. Only then is it time to think about the previous partner. What expectations do you have in life? What are the goals? Does former love actually fit into these wishes?
Once you have found the answer to these questions, dealing with yourself is not over. Because it always plays a big role to find out whether you still love your ex-partner. Or are the alleged feelings just a habit? It is only important to many that another person is nearby so that they do not feel so alone. You need someone, for example, for going to the cinema or for other activities. The human being is a creature of habit – so in the relationship.
If you have gained clarity about your feelings, you should clarify what old love still feels. Is it possible to restart? Does the ex-partner allow it? Certainly, the answer to this question may not be so easy, because a relationship generally does not end without a foundation. The best way to clear up the hesitation is to have a clarifying conversation with the previous partner. If you still feel feelings for the other person, but the partner can no longer return the feelings, you should accept this. In order to organize and process your own emotions, it is advisable to avoid any contact with one another and to keep your distance.
If the feelings are coherent, nothing stands in the way of a new beginning
Only if you are sure that your partner also wants a fresh start should you try again. For example, there are tips in the Ex back forum . A new beginning requires a little patience and does not work overnight. Sometimes you have to compromise and meet the needs and wishes of others. But be careful: never change your character completely! Because then the partner is not the right person.
If you want to get together with your ex-partner again, you should also be sure not to do it out of injured pride or because you are afraid of changes. You should think about what it is like to be without your partner. Did you miss the girlfriend or boyfriend? Or did you enjoy the time you spent alone more and was it even easier to finally have more time for yourself? It is important to find out whether during the relationship you sometimes did not consider single life to be so bad – imagined something that you would have liked to have done if you had not been with a partner.
P.S. Did you like what you read? Then I highly suggest to take a look at my book SHATTERED you can get it on Amazon.
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