At times when you are at a crossroads, the time comes to reflect upon who you are and to discover more about yourself. You come to question yourself about various things as deeply as possible and the mechanisms for which events transpire the way that they do. Often times, we are flung into situations with painful outcomes. Staying in those situations will only prolong the suffering. We distance ourselves to allow healing to take place, and correspondingly, contemplation about what it was we did wrong also happen.
Crash and burn… Every single one of us has been through it.
It feels very much like being adrift, because you are not lodged in place, but instead moving along aimlessly with the current. As I float down this path, I myself am trying to remember about what kind of thoughts were racing in my mind at that particular time. This time consisted less of concrete thoughts and involved heavy emotions where I beared much anguish. The steps of recovery and rebuilding do not have a set time capacity and only require patience. Those shackles now I leave behind for those that are in my place to have those experiences and to learn from them, with my highest appreciation.
The source of the trauma we experienced was the fixation of whomsoever was taking jabs at you in order to feed upon your raw emotion. The typical question here is, ‘what can I do to avoid that?’ This type of an attitude will end up causing us even more suffering, by making us cautious and not being as expressive and colorful as we might have been otherwise. It is instead a change in behavior and a willingness to experiment with expectations in mind that we can reach our goal. In this way, that which used to be overbearing and in-your-face, we will find difficulty to gravitate towards any of it. Afterall, in order for it to maintain itself here, it needs you to continue giving it form and concreteness.
What would happen if say, we were to be a little more self-centered and focus on our well-being and just block the source of our grief out of mind? It requires assertiveness, but when we do, it is easier to close our eyes and find tranquility in our hearts that might have been muffled out because of all the hijinx. We all really need to have this state of mind for even a little while in the waking day, because it allows for us to think clearly and make sound decisions. Think about how often you are bombarded by stress fragments hurled at you by someone trying to get you in a pickle. Now just imagine yourself assertively responding to such a person, making them question their own actions. Well, by blaming yourself less and allowing yourself more freewill, you are more carefree in your words. Thus, nobody can craft their words in order to manipulate you any longer.
It is very strange, because I had never considered being put into verbal traps by those I was corresponding with. In those kinds of situations, you feel no space to be able to move or glide freely, and your body just becomes incredibly tense and frustrated. At no point do you find any leisure to be at composure.
In order for us to be able to create fluidly, the conditions around us must be adequate. You cannot have people in your environment working to undermine or backstab you. Really, it is through the free expression of your mind and meeting with like-minded individuals that brings things to fruition. What is it that we are trying to do? That would be to deliver a message. We have been hurt before, and that in order to make it through here, it was necessary to become strong and confident in our beliefs. After doing so, motivation can move us to support one another and to create new bridges to new possibilities. This is the ultimate payout for our efforts.
It can definitely feel like stepping through H-E-Double hockeysticks, but we have gotten much stronger and wearier since the last time. The pathways will light up for us when we are open to receiving, and it should make for an interesting experience. I hope that you, the explorer, come to see your experience in this light. With a lens that can perceive more than just black and white, you will be able to distinguish between subtle nuances in situations and make different empowering choices. In the end, this will help to open the doors for other people alongside you. For that reason, thank you for taking this risk and engaging on this adventure.