“It’s better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, than a long life spent in a miserable way.”
I often find myself thinking of this quote whilst sitting in my 5 x 5 ft work cubicle doing the same meaningless tasks every single day. I also think about how it would feel like if I suddenly walked out of the office for the very last time. I would like to think that there would be a huge relief and weight lifted off my shoulder but in reality, it would probably be the opposite. Or would it..?
I was fortunate enough to land this job right out of university and from what I’ve heard from my family and friends, I am in a good spot in life. I get a mediocre paycheck, 3 weeks vacations, and a good pension. All I need to do to is to give up 8 hours of my life 5 days a week for the next 30 years…
But what isn’t mentioned is the micro managers who make sure they squeeze every little ounce of productivity out of you, the monotonous work load, the “I can’t wait till I’m 60 so I can retire” attitude, and the overall soul-sucking vibes in the workplace. By the time my work day is finished, I am tired from all the negativity and meaningless work I have done. The only spark of life I feel is on Friday afternoon when I know I won’t have to be in for the next 2 days. This cycle repeats and has repeated for the last 2 years that I have been here.
To be completely honest with myself, I am not happy. There is a constant battle between what I think I need on the outside and what I truly want on the inside. On the outside, it seems that my life is coming together and is going according to “plan” but on the inside I am a screaming for freedom. I’ve been finding myself more negative each day that this goes on. I also notice that I been having more mood swings (mostly Friday and Mondays). I can see where this path is going and it ain’t going some where I want my life to be going.
When I explain this to my friends they always respond by asking “Why don’t you just quit if you’re that miserable?”. That’s always a really tough question for me to answer. To be truthful, it is because I am afraid of what happens after I quit. You always hear about success stories where someone quits their job to follow their dreams only to become famous and successful. But what about the ones who do the same and don’t become either famous or successful? What’s next for them? I guess you could say I’m a bit pessimistic for thinking this but it really is a concern. Instead of simply quitting my job and leaving, I would prefer to have some sort of plan or goal before I decide to get up and make any drastic changes.
With that previous thought in mind, I have decided to take it upon myself to change my life and chase my dream of being happy. I’m going to make a plan to live the life I want to live rather than being stuck in the one I found myself in. I decided to create this blog as a way to keep myself in check and a way to inspire others as well. If you are interested, subscribe and follow along with me in my journey to chase my dream of being happy. I hope that reading this can inspire you to do the same as well. Stay tuned for the next entry