The lack of confidence is what stops you from getting tightly focused on what you want to achieve. You hear that voice telling you that you can’t do it, that it’s to hard and a waste of your time. Stop listening to that voice. It is the biggest un-motivator. In fact when that voice is telling you that you can’t do something, then you know that that’s the thing you have to do.
No one is stopping you from what you want to accomplish but yourself. It’s time to remove that barrier of self-doubt.
Confidence just like Discipline is a major cornerstone in the life of a man. Without it you are weak and destined to fail. Therefore it’s crucial to use every technique, that you can find in order to improve and gain confidence. If you lack confidence then it will show. You’ll let people walk all over you without fighting back, without opening your mouth and you won’t stand your ground and take responsibility for your own actions.
Confidence is a crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take you places you never thought were possible.
Here are some of the techniques I use to gain and improve my confidence.
Posture like a man
When you find yourself slumping in your chair, move and sit straight! Open up your chest and keep your head straight, don’t look down like a weak simp.
Your shoulders must remain back to fully display your chest and to keep your chin up.
Most people tend to slouch forward because they are working at a computer and because most of them don’t lift.
Back in the days when I was playing video games for up to 10 hours a day, I had a sickening weak posture. Thanks to weightlifting and stretching that changed!
Using a Foam roller can help to give you better posture, and doing some stretches with weights is very effective as well. To create and maintain a good posture, you have to constantly do some active stretching exercises.
Hit the Gym
I know, I know. I mention the Gym in almost every post of mine, but that’s because it’s that important.
The gym is a place where you can let yourself go all out (unless you’re stuck in a globo gym with shit music and hipsters around every corner).
The gym is the place where the mind and the body get together. They connect and work in unison.
It’s a glorious moment and you should go to the Gym at least 4 times a week. The more you go the better and stronger your habit will be. And of course building muscle and seeing a transformation take place will increase your confidence tremendously.
Track your progress and keep a Journal
When you journal every day you’ll see results coming in over time. This will give you a tremendous boost in confidence. Seeing that all the hard-work that you’ve put in is paying off is a massive boost in motivation and confidence.
The other big thing that a Journal has to offer is self-reflection. Reflecting your thoughts and what you experienced over the day is really important. It helps you to clear your mind of unnecessary garbage and keeps you on track.
Journaling has many benefits and I highly encourage you to make it a habit. Write down every day before you go to bed and make it part of your nightly routine. Tim Ferriss also suggests, that you should write a few sentences after you wake up. The reasons are basically the same, it helps to clear your mind and you get rid of time consuming thoughts.
Take care of your clothes
If you usually wear street wear or more casual outfits, spend a month dressing up and change your wardrobe. I highly recommend that you check out Well Built Style they definitely know their stuff about Style. For example I started to wear a nice watch, because I like watches and I wanted to see how things change.
What I noticed is that people are more likely and willing to do things for you or have conversation with you, if you dress nicely.
They’ll also be much happier and positive when they are talking to you. When you dress up you’ll also get some compliments and you’ll feel more confident about yourself.
Change your appearance and unlock all the benefits that come with it.
Control your emotions
Let’s take anger as an example. Should you never feel angry? Should you always try to swallow your emotions and never act out on them? Yes and No. Anger can be a useful tool in order to accomplish your goals. You have to be able to control the anger tho.
How do you do that? How do you learn to control your emotions?
You can learn it through meditation. I can’t emphasize this enough, meditation is key and no excuse in the world justifies not doing it.
I know how it is. You start meditating and see all the benefits but then you quit for no apparent reason. If that sounds like you then you definitely have to work on your self-discipline.
Coming back to anger and acting out the feeling. If you are angry then you shouldn’t act it out in the way of beating people up (unless you take martial art classes). Instead you should channel your anger into something productive.
That not only works with anger, tragedy or sadness can also be helpful. Write your feelings down. That’s where the journal comes in again. It helps to deal with sadness, tragedy or anything bad that happened in your life. And if you are brave write an article about it and publish it.
Now while I wrote all this down I didn’t mention how control of your emotions gives you confidence, but it should be obvious. Being the master of your emotions is a major confidence boost. You won’t have nervous breakdowns, you will feel in control in stress situations and you won’t break and fall onto your knees because you can’t handle the pressure.
Speak slower and make your voice deeper
If you have the voice of a japanese schoolgirl it will be hard to feel very confident about yourself. Force yourself to speak slower and deeper, instead of fast and hasty. You’ll feel and hear the difference.
This video by Elliott Hulse explains it very well.
Take care of your skin
That’s an important topic for me since I have acne. I experiment pretty regularly on what products I can use to better my skin (currently I am using tea tree oil and it works like a charm) I will test it a bit more and write a review about in the future but I’m telling you right now it helps.
If you feel insecure or bad about your skin then I know where you’re coming from. I’ve felt that way too and the only way to get rid of that is to take care of it.
When I started to see some good results I got a boost in confidence. So if your skin sucks like mine, experiment try stuff out no matter how weird it sounds and use it. It will make you more confident.
My “ritual” is this:
- Once a week, I put on a mask
- Every day I clean my face with makeup remover and a cotton pad – this gets rid of a lot of the pollution which would otherwise clog up the pores.
- Before going out, I apply a day cream.
Build a basic knowledge about many topics
This is a great and somewhat unusual way to become more confident. When you read a lot of books, listen to podcasts and watch documentaries, you’ll gain a good basic knowledge about many different topics. Which in return will increase your self-worth and confidence, it’s pretty simple yet very effective.
Say what you want
In business, with friends, family, basically with everyone you interact. You must be very clear about what you want. Meaning no wishy-washy bullshit get straight to the point.
People will respect you a lot more when you’re not beating around the bush and get straight to the point. Be clear with your demands. Time is the most valuable asset you have, don’t waste it by not getting to the point.
Keep your promises
If I make a promise, I will go to hell and back to keep it, even if it’s not worth it for me anymore, as I want to keep my reputation.
I rarely make promises, but when I do those around me trust me to keep it.
As a man, your word is as valuable as gold. So don’t toss it around and treat it like shit unless you want to be seen as an unreliable, weak, pathetic person.
That’s it. Those are some of the things I use in my every day life to increase and improve my confidence. Some of those things will take time such as taking care of the skin problem. Others can change and make you more confident rather quickly such as the posture exercises for example.
P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.