How feelings of love arise and what happens when we fall in love
If people fall in love, certain biochemical processes take place in the brain. Often also lovers, who are attracted to each other to a high degree, say: “That feels good, that is consistent, here is the chemistry”.
In the process of falling in love, various chemical substances are released in the body, whereby the brain reacts to a certain extent just as in the case of hunger or thirst. The naturally unconscious processes are designed so that we feel the need for love.
From an evolutionary point of view, a distinction is made between 3 processes or phases in which our brain releases various stimulants during the process of falling in love.
Phases of falling in love
- The phase of sexual desire or desire
- The phase of romantic attraction
- Emotionally deep attraction – the need to bond
A deep bond arises when all 3 phases are passed through. Many love affairs, however, are lost in the sand or are short-lived because of the lack of biochemical processes required for permanent attachment.
The erotic-sexual attraction, desire and desire in the first phase of falling in love is largely aroused by the release of the two sex hormones testosterone (in men) and estrogen (in women). This first emotional phase can last for a period of about 2 months. When the chemistry is right, more neurotransmitters are released in the brain cells that keep the love cycle going.
The second stage is the romantic attraction.
In addition to lustful desire, the need for individual friendship develops. The enamored person now begins to develop romantic feelings towards the other person and sees them as the actual immediate candidate for a partnership.
The biochemical substances in the brain activated at this stage of love are: pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin.
Those affected experience a euphoric exhilaration due to the released hormones. This stage can take from one and a half to three years.
Togetherness and couple formation
After passing through the first two phases, the third stage will be crucial for a long-term relationship.
It is the elements of affection and connectedness that create permanence and the level of deep, enduring love.
Bonding in this last stage seals love with devotion.
During the attachment phase, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are more abundant than in any other phase of falling in love.
The importance of chemistry in love
When biochemical processes run synchronously in the same way for two people, they fall in love. But if that is not the case, there will be no real match. This is true when the biochemical processes take place in the brain of one person, but in the other these processes do not take place. These biochemical reactions can not be consciously induced, they happen subconsciously.
For the “love” in the sense of pairing, both potential partners must undergo chemical reactions at the same time. Because of this fact, one person will often feel more attracted to another. This results in an unequal mutual attraction.
We have often heard of others, or sometimes felt ourselves, when the chemistry was wrong when meeting someone.
As a result, we knew that the person is not right for us.
Unfortunately, many people do not understand that biochemical processes in our bodies play an important role in dating and getting to know each other.
But the fact is that the feeling of love for someone requires a chemical reaction. Often we also speak of the “certain something”. However, this is not just about the external attractiveness, because as we know, it also happens that two attractive-looking people do not feel attracted to each other at all. This is due to the lack of chemical connection between the two.
So it comes to a natural reaction, so that two people feel in a certain way for each other. You can not force these emotions. The lack of chemistry between two people is therefore often the main reason why relationships are not permanent or fail.
Why we should deal with the topic of love in detail
Because love is an integral part of our lives, and because of the great amount of unnecessary suffering that comes with dealing with the feelings of love, it is of great benefit to every human being with the mechanisms and processes that happen when we are in the state of love are closer to deal with. For knowledge and awareness help us to save a lot of pain and grief.
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