How to get out of the victim role!
We are only too happy to blame others for everything, such as fate or our supposed streak of bad luck. It is high time to get out of the victim role and take responsibility for your own life.
Are you one of those people who feel disadvantaged by fate or other people? Do you have the feeling that you are more unlucky than your friends and that you just don’t succeed? I’ll show you what it really looks like and what you can do about your negative thoughts.
The separation from the partner, the loss of a loved one or an accident with consequences: Our life is full of all kinds of unsightly events that we would like to do without.
If such events follow each other in a short time, it is not uncommon for us to get the feeling that fate has simply turned against us . We feel powerless and as a ball of life, apparently without any chance to do anything about it. You surely know this feeling too.
However, by giving responsibility for what happened to someone else – even if only to this “fate” – we are putting ourselves in the victim role. “It’s just fate. There is nothing I can do about it, even if I wanted to ”. A vicious cycle begins.
No question, there are things in life that we cannot avoid with the best will in the world. We are often really unlucky if, for example, your employer goes bankrupt or you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and get involved in an accident.
On the other hand, on closer inspection, however, we are often to blame for much more than we want to admit. Perhaps you failed the exam because you didn’t learn enough, lost your partner because you didn’t treat him fairly yourself, or currently have health problems because you let yourself go until the very end.
So that we understand each other correctly: I don’t want to make you know that it’s your own fault and that you only imagine your suffering. As I said, we are responsible for some things, for others we really cannot help. To be able to honestly judge this for yourself requires the ability to self- criticize . Only if you can take a critical and objective look at yourself will you be able to admit your own mistakes, but what you determine very well and entirely is how you deal with such adversities.
Get out of the victim role
A well-known coach for self-defense, with whom I once had the pleasure a long time ago, used to say: “ You don’t become a victim. You are a victim or not. “
Unfortunately, or luckily, there is more to this sentence, which certainly sounds a bit cynical for those currently suffering, than it is believed. Because we certainly cannot always influence what happens to us, but we can freely decide how we react to it.
We only suffer because we think that we are the game ball of fate and there is nothing we can do about it. As a result, we are in a bad mood, angry and often annoyed for days.
But that’s exactly what is unnecessary and completely out of place. There is no one out there that forces you to feel these feelings. You decide for yourself how you react to a particular situation.
” Pain is inevitable, suffering is voluntary.” (M. Kathleen Casey)
So if you happen to something bad, yes, even if you already happens something bad, you think carefully about how you react to it. Because, as stupid as it may sound, whether you get excited about it for 10 days or swallow briefly and continue smiling, nothing changes in what has happened. It is in the past.
It is completely clear to me that, for example, the end of a long and intimate relationship is not so easy to swallow and forget. There are usually too many feelings involved and I can’t either. But what you can and should learn is how to deal with more trivial everyday problems that simply happen and can be solved.
Getting upset takes time and energy without you having any of it. Placing yourself in the victim role means that you are giving someone else (who often does not even exist) the responsibility for your life instead of using the time to lead this very life in the right direction.
Minimize your suffering
As the article ” The self-fulfilling prophecy written” bestimmst alone you know if you are weak or strong, whether you suffer or fight if you are a victim or makers are. Only you can control your feelings, nobody else.
If you feel helpless, passed out and as a victim, nothing will change. You will suffer as long as you allow without gaining anything. Unfortunately, I have to tell you in all frankness.
So accept the adversities of life as they come. Unfortunately, you will (!) Be confronted with things that you do not want more often. But in the end, you alone decide whether you make yourself a victim or a fighter.
So: out of the victim role and into life! I know you will make the right decision!
Again and again we see fatal blows and turning points in our lives . If they follow each other in the shortest possible time, we quickly believe in a losing streak or feel like a victim.
But it is precisely this feeling of powerlessness, the feeling of being unable to do anything and not being responsible that means that we are giving up control of the situation and suffering more than is often necessary.
So face the adversities and problems of life at eye level and decide for yourself whether they are worth suffering for or not. Because whether you get upset or not, nothing will change in what happened.
P.S. Did you like what you read? Then I highly suggest to take a look at my book SHATTERED you can get it on Amazon.
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