How To Improve Yourself When Nobody is on your side

When you start to improve yourself, and you do what it takes, and you constantly move forward and make progress, then don’t expect anyone to support or encourage you while you are on that journey. That is especially true with those who you have known for a while or grew up with (friends and family).

As a man, your value is built up and forged through time. In your 20’s your value is almost none existent, that’s why you have to work your butt off in those years. Focus on the big picture and work, work, work. There is a reason we have the most energy in our 20’s, and that’s because it’s the perfect time to build and increase our value in a dramatic fashion.

There are two sides of the coin tho. Either you plan ahead and play the long-term game (which I recommend), or you play the short-term game and fail miserable later on in life.

What is the short-term game? Playing the short-term game means doing things that don’t take time and don’t add any value to your life, you can get a nice haircut now, and dress better, but that won’t do it.

Good looks only will get you so far, if you have no direction in life, no vision, no purpose, no fulfilling life, no accomplishments, in other words, nothing that took time to to build, then you have low value and everybody can see that.

In the long-term game however, you start to learn new things every day and get good at them. At the beginning, you will always suck obviously but this is part of the process, and it’s something that you must go through if you wish to achieve greatness. Not only do you suck at the beginning, but everybody else who knows your old self will laugh because they see you going through the failure stage.

Here’s an example from my life:

I was a typical nerd and “outcast” and the people I socialized with back then knew that I was a nerd and only spend time playing games.

So when I quit my Job and started to change, they laughed at me since they only knew the part of me who was focused on his video games. Furthermore, they also saw my initial failure stage when I started my business.

Those people didn’t focus on the progress I made, and they didn’t see the personal evolution I was going through, all they saw was the weak and old version of myself.

Despite all that, it still made them feel uncomfortable. They felt bad about themselves because I was willing to change, and they were not, so they tried to bring me back to their level and doxxed me with phrases like “Why did you quit your Job?” “You could’ve made good money, and now you are struggling, it doesn’t make any sense does it?” “This will never workout buddy” “Just quit”  etc. you get the gist of it.

It’s crucial that if you are in a similar situation that you absolutely must get rid of those people. It took me way too long to cut contact with those energy vampires, so take my advice, be smarter than me, and remove them from your life, you’ll be better off that way guaranteed.

On your way to the top you don’t need others, don’t rely on them and always be prepared for the worst. All difficult challenges in life will be faced alone!

Accountability groups and the likes are for fat women to achieve their dieting & fitness goals, but not for you!  Forget those social media competitions and challenges those are tools for simps and women to get a sense of accomplishment, but no long-lasting results.

And yes I am aware that those groups work and that they can help people to achieve their goals, but they won’t develop the ability to get shit done by themselves through determination and discipline.

Don’t rely on others when you are bettering yourself that’s weak. Yes, get a mentor if possible, build connections with like-minded men, but never rely on them, alsways hold yourself accountable, rely on yourself and on your skills.

You don’t need others to keep you accountable; otherwise you’ll never learn the most crucial skill & that is holding yourself accountable.

Break out of group-thinking. If you want advice, ask, if you need motivation, make your goals bigger. But if you want someone to keep you responsible and take charge of your personal growth and development, then stop being a bitch and get to work.

You will face all significant challenges in life alone.

I improve & train myself alone, yes it’s harder and takes more time, but when shit inevitably hits the fan, and a disaster happens that I have to face alone, I’m prepared for that. I’ve been training for those precise moments by doing things on my own.


When you improve, don’t expect anybody to be on your side. People do not want the process; they want the result. Don’t rely on other people, harden yourself, prepare yourself, plan ahead and start shipping. Never stop to improve yourself and always hold yourself accountable.

As always thanks for reading.

-Titus Hauer

P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.

P.P.S. If you like what you read then I invite you to sign-up to my FREE Newsletter so you don’t miss out on Updates and up and coming Books, Articles, and more.