Love for loneliness
What is the first step against loneliness?
We have to learn to love.
But first, we need to examine more closely the inconsistency of the term “love.”
Being lonely makes you feel like you’re in an unbearable prison. The focus of attention is on the pain, we are trapped in ourselves, much like when we have stomach pains and this pain is bothering us.
We try to fill that void by looking for other people who give us the missing warmth and love we need.
People often try to do something for others to win their love. They exchange favors with each other and think that they are loving people. They know that their loneliness can only be animated by the love of others and therefore they want to be loved by others.
The paradox of love, however, is:
Those who want to escape their own loneliness by embarking on the search for love and affection will inevitably fail and find no consolation but only despair more deeply. In other words, if we seek love, because we need it, we will never find it.
A person who focuses his life on the satisfaction of his own needs, and who seeks love because he needs it, is essentially egocentric, no matter how pitiful he is.
As long as he is focused on himself, his ability to love will always be stunted.
What is the solution then?
When a person no longer goes out to seek love, but instead is willing to give unconditional love, he becomes loveable to others and will certainly be loved by others.
We have to break the vicious circle of self-centeredness and open ourselves to others.
If we truly internalize the fact that love happens, if we love without purpose in itself, this is a first step in a loving life in which loneliness has no chance.
Every person in the world has a certain ability to love.
We are all more or less able to focus our attention on the needs and concerns of others.
To the extent that we are willing to give love, we can receive love from others.
The decision to love others without conditions is like a donation (we do not expect anything in return, not a happy ego or a good conscience), it is not a barter. If we ask other questions, “And what did you do for me?” Then it’s not about love, it’s about trade or business.
Even if you can not give much love in the beginning, you will get some love back.
This love will help you to develop and develop your love ability and in return you will receive even more love from others.
But always remember that you open yourself to the others in this affection or self-surrender, and your thinking is not just about your own ego, otherwise it will not work.
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