Love hormones – how we fall in love
Encounters and first reactions
When we meet or see someone for the first time, what we see inspires us, negatively or positively in relation to that person. When we encounter a potential sexual partner, it is certain biochemical processes in our brains that determine whether a relationship is established. We are attracted to a person as a result of a biochemical reaction. Our body reacts by sexual arousal, we are in the so-called pleasure phase. If the biochemical reaction fails, no attraction takes place.
Love hormones in the brain
The initial pleasure phase in the brain stimulates the sex hormone testosterone in men and estrogen in women. When these hormones are released in men or women, the desire for closeness and intimacy arises. This urge can last for up to 2 months.
However, the attraction of attraction can fail to meet again. Namely, if the biochemical reaction and the hormone release does not happen again. In this case, no attraction takes place. If the stimulus of sexual arousal dies, the associated feelings are also missing. This also extinguishes the potential for a relationship. This happens at one-night stands and short encounters that are quickly forgotten. In two further stages, more chemical reactions have to take place so that a pleasurable attraction develops into a romantic attraction and ends up in an emotional bond, a true love affair.
If only the pleasure phase is stimulated, two people may have sex with each other, but there is no real relationship afterward. The affair ends because the other two chemical stages have not been reached. Only when all three stages expire, we say that the chemistry is right. To really be in love, these criteria must be met, or the relationship does not work.
Why relationships do not work
Relationships usually do not work because the attraction is one-sided. The biochemical processes must occur in both partners, if a real love relationship is to arise. That’s why many couples feel that something is missing in their relationship. They have overlooked the importance of chemistry or true feelings. You may have opted for a relationship, for example for money or convenience or for other reasons. Then it often comes to an infidelity. One of the partners breaks out of the relationship and tries to find the missing fulfillment with someone else. This is due to the fact that a relationship does exist, but the passion and the spark are missing. This can be very painful and frustrating, especially when the other partner is trying to save the relationship and not understand why it does not work. It’s the chemistry. If the chemistry is wrong, there is no intimate bond that comes when two people really love each other.
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