Overcome grief and loss pain
Human life is not just composed of sunny and joyful sections. It is ups and downs: the mix of moments of happiness, success and positive developments – but also sorrow, illness, worries, fears and grief and loss pain are among them. This has effects – mental and physical.
The inner balance is not always present. Some people move between “heaven-high” and “distressed to death”. Rather a pathological aspect. Creating balance to balance body and soul and lead a balanced life is sometimes only possible with professional help. Especially after blows of fate, such as a serious illness, in the loss of something very significant in life or by the death of a close person.
Catastrophes shake humanity and those affected by traumas are dependent on psychological and pastoral help.
Effects of stress conditions and life crises
What are burdens and life crises? Is this only true in adulthood? No. Even children can be affected by heavy burdens and loss pain. The worst part is when the parents split up. The child soul has to cope with the loss of a parent as in a mourning process. Not infrequently, such divorce children are behaviorally disturbed, conspicuous in kindergarten or let in in school performance. Some become bedwetting or begin to stutter.
For a child, the experience of loss pain can lead to loss fears that are a lifetime companion. The feeling of “sadness” even a toddler experiences when, for example, the beloved cuddly toy is lost. The child of school age mourns his “animal friend”, the deceased hamster or the dog. Situations where adults should console their child with understanding and attention.
Adults may handle such “bagatelles” perhaps more confidently, but also their “pain threshold” can be reached quickly. Some loss pain affects only drastic and ends very often in a life crisis or illness.
The reactions to prolonged severe mental or physical stress are expressed in:
1. Acute stress disorders that can take the following proportions:
- Physical reactions (rapid heartbeat, sweating, tremors, sleep disorders, lack of concentration, circulatory problems)
- Depression up to suicide
2. Posttraumatic stress disorder, which has a delayed effect (especially after traumatic events, such as war, natural disasters, serious accidents involving transport, violence). Insomnia, nightmares and uncontrollable emotions from recurrent memories are the consequences that need to be treated professionally.
What are loss crises?
In contrast to fear of loss, the crisis is already a reality. Fears are about possible loss. For example, to accompany an incurably ill family member in the last stage of life, without hope for a change for the better – or paralyzing relationship anxiety, which makes a permanent bond almost impossible.
Mourning and loss pain – these life crises can include:
- pain of separation
- Major illness
- Mourning for the death of a loved one
- Job loss
- The decay of families
- Extreme situations after disasters (fires, forces of nature, accidents, human violence)
Surely there would be much more to enumerate, which in the experience can bring the person in question into an exceptional situation and can pull the “ground under his feet” from him.
It is difficult to define a “standard” of perceived suffering. It is probably the most extreme effort to overcome grief and to endure the pain of loss when a child dies.
Paths of sorrow, suffering, grief and loss crises
- Time heals some wounds
Every person mourns differently and everyone needs their time individually to process the events and to learn to deal with the pain of loss. If the one has overcome the grief after a few weeks, the other one may need a year and some parents, through the loss of their child, the rest of their lives.
- Assistance for self-help Accept
competent help from a psychologist – and want to be helped! Single-handedly, loss crises are often difficult to manage.
- Intellectual and physical activities
These are sensible ways to reduce meaningless musings and inner tensions. With a “broken heart”, it would be better to clean the house or (as a man) chop wood than “to mope”. At work, sports or games, the blood circulation is stimulated and the return to “normal” life promoted.
- Creative activities
Being creative distracts from some grief and pleases others and the person concerned as well.
- Turning to other people who need help
Shared suffering is half suffering. Helping others with their own experiences does not leave the mourning undone, but it makes it more wearable.
- Focusing on the future
Hope and confidence are the lifeline in many situations. Turning to the new, to life.
- Overcome grief – do not hide
It is good to “cry out” his grief. Man is not always “strong” – he may also show weakness – that is strength! Tears are a natural reaction to grief and loss pain. They express an inner relaxation. A “gutted” grief is dangerous, makes you sick and possibly hard in your being.
- Meditation – Prayer
People who have a healthy attitude towards life, death, becoming and passing away, while not spared the loss pain or grief, but they use their faith, their trust in God. You know: everything is just “borrowed”!
How everyone deals with the pain of loss, whether intro or extroverted . In any case, it is good if the person knows that he is not alone in his pain. Assisted by the family, friends, work colleagues, institutions, or feels “supported” by a supernatural power.
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