Be In Charge Of Your Life
Caring what other people think of you puts them in charge of your life, instead of you.
What will other people think of me? slavery is extremely common. Most of us are brought up to consider others and their feelings, but unless we are discerning, we soon find ourselves caught up in a job we can’t stand, or living in a relationship which makes us unhappy, or getting caught up in the spiral of poverty.
Trying to please other people all the time syndrome begins in childhood. It stems from a desire to be liked and admired.
Over the years thousands of small incidents build up, until by the time we are adults, most of us make a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own personal needs and desires. You have to rid yourself of that!
The Right Reasons
Before you cut the grass, decorate the house, start a business, go on holiday, always ask yourself, am I doing this for the right reasons? Yes, the gardening has to be done, but not if you’re in the middle of crucial market research and if you don’t cut the grass today you’re worried that the neighbour’s will think you’re lazy. Yes, a house has to be decorated, but not if it’s at the expense of your health through shooting your stress level through the roof trying to fit it in between a busy advertising campaign, and it’s only because your partner insists you do it now.
Other people slavery kills your creativity, your energy and drive towards your own goals and fulfilling your dreams. It stops you from going to places you want to visit and enjoying the kind of entertainment that you enjoy. So, make certain you’re not always driven to do things, merely because you’re worried about what other people think of you. Be confident in who you are!
Strive to be Different
Nearly everyone you know will strive to be normal – because it’s socially acceptable. But the normal person goes nowhere special and will only ever achieve the mundane.
Let’s take a look at a typical “normie” life:
I live in a pleasant neighbourhood in an average house (translated as meaning: all the houses and gardens along the street look exactly alike, apart from the odd differences in plants). I own an average car (just another standard box on wheels, which apart from minor differences looks like nearly every other car on the road).
Normie goals and ambitions:
I save up all year round to take my wife and children on holiday, somewhere nice where it’s safe. We usually book a package holiday, so everything is taken care of and we know exactly what to expect. Even the entertainment is all planned for us.
My job is boring, but it pays the bills and the pension is good. It’ll never make me rich, but then I don’t want to be rich (dumbest thing you might hear in your entire life but people actually say this). Anyone who’s rich has had to lie and cheat their way to the top. I like to sleep at night with a clear conscience. I may not have much but at least it’s honest toil.
I don’t have much to do with the neighbours; I don’t really like them. But, to keep the peace I mow my lawn once a week and keep the garden weeded and tidy, and do the odd job for them. I like to think they view me as a nice guy.
Every other weekend we visit our best friends, and they visit us alternate weekends. Like us, they’re your average typical family. Most nights after work I shower, change and after dinner, put my feet up and watch television until bedtime. Every Sunday, we have a roast dinner and every Friday we treat ourselves to a fry up. Am I happy, well, it’s life isn’t it?
That’s how Normies think and live their life. The Normies spend their days, grumbling about how they hate their job, get fed up with their bosses and partners, but that’s all they do. The same gripes day in and day out – but taking no action to change their situation, simply because they are slaves to being normal (and what will other people think of me, if I do something unusual?).
It’s Never Too Late
Sadly, the following story is all too common: Some dude spent years training to be an engineer, although he never really liked engineering. But he thought it was worth the sacrifice because it was a highly paid skill.
After college, he started a job with an engineering company. Years later he was still working at the same company and still hating it. His excuse was with a mortgage and family ties he was scared to leave the engineering firm and go into a job with lower wages.
After twenty years he was still afraid to correct a mistake made all those years ago. He was now too scared to change jobs, simply because he’d left it too late. He didn’t want to compete with younger men experienced at their job.
If you have a goal and you find yourself saying it’s too late, the only way to conquer that fear is to ignore it and go ahead and do the thing you fear. It’s NEVER too late if you have the courage and the passion to follow your dream.
Don’t Crave Security
In ages past we accepted that life was full of hardships. They grappled with huge animals in a desperate bid to kill them for food. The odds were simple; either succeed or starve, kill or be killed.
As civilisations discovered fire and then electricity and gas to keep warm, bought food from markets and built houses of stone, people became less willing to deal with any unexpected events that threatened to turn their cosy life upside down. So, insurance was invented.
The idea of insurance is to cushion the impact of the unexpected. In theory it’s a good idea, but it has turned our society into a population of security seekers. It has weakened our strength as individuals who know we can surmount any problem or situation that life throws our way.
The stifling extent of this slavery is enormous. The more security we have the less psychological freedom we can enjoy and the less our chances are of success and abundance.
The only places to find security are a prison or mental hospital. Inmates are assured a roof over their heads, food and warmth and no responsibilities. The price tag for this security? No freedom.
Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to reel off a list of bad things that could happen to us. For most people it’s easier than thinking of the good things that could happen. People who crave security are slaves to a vivid imagination that conjures up bad news items that could happen to them, and they allow these images to cripple their actions. Too afraid to start that great business idea because of all the things they imagine that could go wrong. Too frightened to sell up and buy a larger house in another area because the house prices could drop or the children won’t like the new schools, or… and so it goes on for an endless list.
Every child loves surprises and life is fun and exciting because of this. As we grow up and we fight for security, we eliminate the risks but in doing so we eliminate the surprises and limit our chances to achieve more than a humdrum life.
If you want to make sure you don’t stifle your need for excitement:
1. Dare to be individual.
2. Dare to develop your own style – instead of following.
3. Dare to study and work to improve yourself in your profession.
4. Dare to have a positive mental attitude and the courage to try.
In other words: Dare to take a chance.
I Am Certain to Win
Our minds drive us to achieve exactly what we believe we’re capable of achieving. This is good news because once we understand this and master the art of controlled thinking, then we can guide our destinies towards success.
Controlled experiments over many years have proved that children who are considered by their teachers, friends and families to be troublesome or terrors actually end up getting into trouble with a high percentage becoming juvenile delinquents. However, the ‘good’ group of boys (in the same age group at the beginning of a study) believed by teachers, friends and families to stay out of trouble and succeed in school, go on to do so. Each group of children achieve in accordance with what people around them believe them capable of doing.
The conclusion of many similar studies is this: thinking does make it so.
If you need to break the bonds of I’m certain to fail slavery:
Hold positive talks with yourself.
Think, I’m going to succeed.
Think, I’m a winner.
The only person you will have to convince is yourself. Other people are automatically convinced you’re great and a success, after you have convinced yourself.
As always thanks for reading and until next time.
P.S. If you liked this post then you’ll like my books as well. You can get them on Amazon.