Love at a distance: The advantages and disadvantages of long-distance relationships
Long-distance relationships: opportunities and risks
More and more people find themselves in long-distance relationships – currently around 10% of Germans live their love at a distance , and the trend is rising. Moving a partner doesn’t necessarily mean that love ends. On the contrary: there are often opportunities to make the relationship grow.
The partner moves away – what now?
It is often professional reasons that pull the loved one away: A tempting job offer, the relocation of the company or the much-desired place to study can force us to change our location. Such a situation is a touchstone for the relationship. After all, proven rituals, common routines and the usual rhythm of life are replaced by anxious questions from one day to the next: How often will we see each other? Will the partner change? How do I deal with the longing for the other?
Love at a distance – burden or opportunity?
Admittedly, the first time of a long-distance relationship can be very difficult. Together with the partner, the common plans for the future also seem to be a long way off. In addition, the loved one has to get used to his new life – the new living environment, the new job, strange faces and many unknown impressions patter on him. In this situation, love at home can be a valuable support: If you hear the familiar voice during a phone call, you feel connected to your old life and can face the challenges of the new one stronger. In the best case, the partner at home is the anchor, which brings stability into the turbulent phase of change.
Watch out, trap!
If your own apartment suddenly appears empty and the evenings are long and lonely, you can get into strange temptations: the television stays on for hours, the daily shower is no longer desirable, and social contacts are put on the back burner. In this case only: get out of the depression trap!
Dress up, meet friends and do yourself something good! If the partner comes home the next weekend and finds a heap of misery, this puts more strain on the relationship than the temporary separation. Make things talkable by experiencing something you would like to share. This keeps the relationship alive and you can even discover a part of yourself that was previously unknown to you. Love at a distanceafter all, it doesn’t mean you have to give up on yourself. On the contrary: Enjoy the days until the next reunion to the fullest. So the time goes by much faster and you can fully enjoy the hours together. Also plan fun activities for the time after the next farewell. If you have something to look forward to, the temporary separation is much easier for you.
Create common ground
The monthly telephone bill has already reached astronomical heights? Then, at the latest, it is time to find some meaningful rituals that create closeness. Do you have hobbies in common? You don’t always have to indulge them together. Read the same book, watch the same film, or do something else that you can talk about. Online role-playing games are also available for playful people. You can spend hours together in a virtual world, experience adventure and face challenges. So you create closeness and have the feeling of living together instead of just next to each other.
In addition to the many possibilities that the latest technology offers us, there is also a beautiful, old-fashioned way to create closeness: Surprise your loved one with a handwritten letter. This proof of love provides a positive surprise and shows how important the relationship is to you. And what is nicer than reading a love letter again and again when you are feeling lonely?
Control – no thanks
Successful long-distance relationships depend on mutual trust. Jealousy and control calls are out of place. If you don’t have enough self-confidence, you will have a hard time with the spatial distance. But this is exactly where there is a great opportunity for your own development: discover your strengths and advantages and develop yourself further. What have you not had time for? For example, you could take interesting courses or work on your career. The greater your self-esteem, the less you need to be informed about every step your partner takes. And the loved one has the pleasure of discovering completely new sides of you at every meeting.
Free space for spending time together
Holidays together, public holidays and festivities: Good planning is essential, especially in long-distance relationships . However, if the schedule starts to determine the relationship, caution is advised: romance can quickly be neglected. Therefore, be very careful not to plan every moment of your time together, but leave room for spontaneous ideas that will make your hours even more precious.
P.S. Did you like what you read? Then I highly suggest to take a look at my book SHATTERED you can get it on Amazon.
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