If love hurts: unhappy relationship, what to do?
Heart rhymes with pain only with the hit lyrics. Those who have lovesickness themselves or persevere in an unhappy love relationship cannot make sense of it. There is no herb against heartache . When love hurts , it can have different causes. Two people belong to love. Perhaps the best comparison is with gravity. If something slips out of our hands, it falls to the floor. Nobody expects the object to move towards the ceiling. Everyone knows that, but nobody really understands it.
The problem of one-sided love
It is the same with love. When a person becomes an object of desire, love works like gravity. In the ideal case, it “sparks” between two people. Unfortunately, the love spark does not always jump over. Nevertheless, the switch cannot simply be flipped or the delete key pressed. Before he knows it, the lover is enveloped in a pink bubble of fantasy. This can happen, for example, if someone is in love with a work colleague.
Longing looks, flattery, a new outfit – all in vain. Love becomes pain. The only way out, it seems, is to change jobs. In extreme cases, this may actually be the solution. At least temporarily. Until the next one-sided, unhappy relationship is announced. The mind is one thing, the heart is another. Bringing the two together is a fine art, which usually only works with outside help. That may be good friends or the family. Sometimes, however, only professionals can help. It also quickly becomes clear whether the acute problem is based on a profound behavior pattern that can be changed.
Unhappily in love with a married man
Others are constantly falling in love with men who are married. It is not uncommon for an unhappy relationship to develop from this , even if there is “magic in the beginning”. At some point, the excruciating hours of loneliness can hardly be endured. The only help here is to make it clear to the loved one that he has to make a decision. The few fulfilled hours do not outweigh the phases of being alone and uncertainty. Those who subordinate themselves to the lust and mood of a boyfriend gradually give up on themselves and risk their self-esteem in a self-destructive manner. Those who draw a line will initially increase their own suffering, but emerge from the time of suffering all the more strengthened.
If love hurts, a clarifying conversation can help
The problem is different if there is a crisis in a long-term relationship and if love hurts . Sure, everyone knows that after a while, the tingling of the butterflies in the stomach subsides. But when the awareness grows to wake up next to a partner who has become a stranger, everyone should first question themselves. The next step is to look for a conversation with the partner. Are there ways out of the crisis? Does he or she feel similar? Can love still be saved?
An open, trusting discussion among partners is not a panacea if love suddenly hurts in a relationship. But words clear a state, even if no one can predict the result. If you prefer a push from the outside, you can take advantage of a couple consultation.
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