What is fear of loss and how can you overcome it?
Loss anxiety affects people of all ages and can severely affect relationships and friendships. To a certain extent, the worry of being abandoned or lost by a loved one is normal. Morbid loss fears, on the other hand, which are associated with permanent tormenting worries, panic attacks or aggressive behavior , are often a heavy burden both for the person concerned and for his direct environment. People who develop morbid loss anxiety suffer from a personality disorder that requires psychotherapeutic care.
Causes and risk factors for fear of loss
Every person experiences losses in the course of his life that sometimes shape his emotional patterns of behavior more and sometimes less. Those who lead a harmonious family and love life occasionally worry about being able to lose a loved one through various circumstances. People who suffer from morbid loss anxiety, however, turn such thoughts into great panic and anxiety, although there is no reason to do so in a purely rational sense.
Strong loss fears, if you accept morbid features, usually go hand in hand with your partner or other fellow human beings with groundless mistrust. Frenzied jealousy is a typical behavioral trait of people suffering from morbid loss anxiety. The causes of such a personality disorder are usually in childhood.
Both traumatic experiences in family life and disturbed relationships with parents can manifest in morbid loss anxiety in adulthood. In particular, people who have no intimate physical and mental closeness to their mothers as infants often become insecure adults who suffer from the constant fear of being abandoned by loved ones. Also, a separation or divorce of the parents and the break of contact with a parent may favor such a personality disorder. At the same time, however, it is also possible for an over-sheltered child to become an adult afflicted with fear of loss.
Many people have to experience being cheated on by a beloved partner, deceived or left for incomprehensible reasons. This can lead to a significant decline in self-esteem and have a negative impact on future relationships. Anyone who has been cheated once, always has the worry that this is repeated with a new partner.
Behavior patterns and manifestations of loss anxiety
Anyone who had to experience a traumatic experience in childhood or in a partnership can trust others only partially or not at all. At the same time, low self-esteem leads to a considerable underestimation of one’s own abilities and advantages. Those who do not believe in themselves can hardly accept the love of a partner. Many people respond to intense feelings such as love and sexual attraction by confronting their counterparts with jealous attacks and showing a veritable mirth in their control, as constant fear of loss leads them to have to follow each step of the partner closely. Braces is a typical sign of such a personality disorder.
Aggressive behavioral patterns such as verbal and physical violence as well as deprivation of liberty can also occur as consequences of pathological loss anxiety. At the same time, sufferers are plagued by self-doubt because they do not feel attractive, intelligent, humorous or successful enough to hold their partner. This feels increasingly harassed and withdraws itself more and more, creating a vicious circle.
Treatment options of loss anxiety
If the patterns of behavior become morbid and put a strain on the private lives of those affected and their relatives, it is essential to have psychotherapeutic treatment. Most patients are unaware of the individual causes of their fears. If they are worked up and analyzed in the context of psychotherapy, those affected learn to deal with their emotions and to transform them into positive behavioral patterns.
Overcome fear of loss with the help of the partner
Anyone who develops fear of loss due to negative experiences in a past relationship should discuss it and work together in the course of intensive discussions with the partner. To strengthen a relationship and thus self-esteem, everyday rituals should be cultivated.
People who, as a couple, realize shared dreams and goals , communicate their emotions honestly, consciously remember positive shared experiences, and make honest complements to each other, can usually successfully overcome loss anxiety resulting from diminished self-esteem.
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