Why your own ego is our best personal adviser
Each of us as an individual brings with it a unique combination of qualities and abilities. Nevertheless, we often rely on the judgment and advice of others. However, as these evaluate and advise on the basis of their own needs and lifestyles, this often does not agree with what we ourselves need. Consequently, our social environment usually only fosters a portion of our ego resources while other personality aspects lead to a shadowy existence. In each of us dormant hidden potentials just waiting to be discovered.
Influences of education
To find out more about our true selves, we need to distinguish between what we have learned to be “right” without being emotionally involved and what we feel is important to our lives. Especially when the task of learning content that is identified as problematic for one’s own self also concerns our behavior towards our loved ones, the idea must first be overcome that love and loyalty automatically mean the self-sacrificing fulfillment of requests and demands. Perhaps it helps to think that it can not be in the interest of our loved ones to go beyond our own physical and mental limits in meeting their needs.
In order to understand how different people often perceive and interpret the environment despite the same culture and family, it is worth taking a closer look at personality typologies based on Carl G. Jung. The extent to which genetic factors play a role in the development of personality types has not yet been conclusively clarified. But one thing is certain: a look at one’s own family already shows that not all members always agree in their perceptions, interpretations, ideas of life and personal abilities.
Rediscovery of the ego starts in everyday life
Fortunately, those who want to go on an expedition to their own selves do not have to go on a sabbatical or go on a retreat. The search can start here in everyday life without further ado. There are different ways. One possibility is to look into the early past, when, as a child, you had to behave increasingly intuitively. Questions like: Where were my favorite places? What were my favorite games? Was I better for myself or in the fray? These questions are just a few pointers, for each will have other questions that are significant to one.
In addition to a glimpse into the past, the lighting of the present continues. Honest answers to the questions – In which moments do I feel really comfortable? What is important to me in a conversation? What qualities should my partner appreciate about me? – bring closer to actual needs and life priorities. Helpful questions for the lighting of professional life can be: Do I rather work as a team, independently or alone? Do I prefer to approach problems intuitively-creatively or rationally structured? Is harmony more important to me or the exact implementation of my ideas?
However, the journey of discovery does not necessarily have to be via the real world. As results of reading psychology suggest, even the fictional stories and characters we feel connected to provide insight into our own needs, desires, and fascinations. Wherever the search for one’s self takes place, the key is always to ask further questions and to answer them in an emotionally honest way. Writing down the new insights into one’s own self after every journey of discovery avoids finally being forgotten in everyday life.
With feeling, understanding, and intuition – the station wagon makes it
If through new insights about your own ego, the all-too-human feeling arises, you want to change everything immediately and radically, it’s time to pause for a moment. Surely everyone has already the experience that acts after the first emotional impulse by no means brings the desired result, rather the opposite. For the decision on changes, it is more appropriate to rely on the entire sense-intellect-intuition-combo of their own ego. This also applies to the evaluation of the advice of others. Because in the end, we have to live alone with the decision. And only one’s own self can know which life suits us and makes us truly happy.
All the best and a lot of joy in the (re) discovery of the I!